Borderlands 3 (PS4) Review

Borderlands 3 (PS4) Review

Release Date: 13 September 2019

Date Played: 7 May 2021

I think I've just outgrown Borderlands.  I remember 100% completing the first game including all of its DLC.  A few years later, I played the sequel and just didn't have the drive to continue much beyond finishing the story.   This time around, it was a real drag just getting through the campaign.  What happened?  

Firstly, I played the entire game in Co-op.  I'm absolutely sure that this made the game a lot more fun.  If it hadn't been for having a partner on the couch with me, I probably would have given up long before the final credits rolled.   Borderlands has never been much for story and instead relied on its zany characters and outrageous situations to carry you through.   Throw in a bunch of awesome guns to loot while playing with friends, and you have a winning combination.  This time around, Gearbox really dropped the ball.  You chose 1 of 4 classes of character and once again set out on the planet Pandora to gather riches and fame.  You quickly learn that all the psychotic inhabitants of the planet have joined a cult that follows these post-apocalyptic internet influencers called the Calypso Twins.  They are Sirens (magical beings found in all of the Borderlands games) and they are gathering all the energy they can by sucking it out of everyone they come across.  They want to get into the vaults hidden around the galaxy and absorb the energy of the vault guardians so they can ascend into godhood.  You have to group up with the resistance group, the Crimson Raiders, to try to foil their plans.  Returning are most of the characters from the previous games.  There's Lilith,  Claptrap, Tannis, Maya, Tine, Mad Moxxi, and others.  Actually, I think every old character from the series makes a cameo, but it feels very fan-servicy without actually having any real impact since most only have a couple of lines of dialog and then disappear.  You travel around to different planets that are all post apocalyptic wastelands to gather key fragments to open vaults.  As with the other games, you kill aliens, bugs, and psychos all along the way.  There's tons of guns to collect, side missions, places to explore.   It’s a tried and true method, but you’d be hard pressed to be able to differentiate this game from its prequels if you didn’t know it was #3.

The issues with this game that make it so mediocre and forgettable are obvious. Firstly, the Calypso twins are not good villains.  They are annoying, not funny, their character models are lame, and I think they are pretty much universally despised. I feel like the societal zeitgeist is to have an aversion to influencers, and choosing them as the game’s antagonists was a double edged sword.  Immediately, you have foes that the public will hate, so that’s mission accomplished.  On the other side, you have unrelatable, superficial, and vapid characters that the audience is more repulsed by than fearful of. Also, All of the locations in the game feel and look just like all the locations in the previous games.  It feels like you've already been here before... because you have. The exception to this is when you go through the Jakob's estate.  It's like a haunted house murder mystery in a characture of a Louisianna plantation.  It was a really fun and unique part of the game and was by far my favorite part.  It stands in stark contrast to the arid and bug infested Borderlands universe. 

The guns are fun, but they don't really add any new effects from the hundreds of other guns you've gotten before and often feel super weak.  Finally, the humor... is just off.  It's the same old jokes you've heard a million times in the other games... but they just fall so flat.  I read a review online, and someone said something to the degree that, "the dialog and jokes are extremely childish and are written poorly but you can just tell that the writers thought it was the funniest thing ever."  I don't remember what member of the public wrote this review, but he absolutely summed it all up with that statement.  There is a whole mission where some woman wants a cup of coffee.  So, she sends you on a bunch of boring fetch quests (a theme of this game) to gather the resources to make her a cup of coffee.  The whole time she's on the com's system saying things like, "OMG... COFFEE!! I Need my coffee!!! I can't do anything without my coffee!!!! Yummy, yummy, yummy!"  It feels like the way a 10 year old would write the dialog of an adult.  It's so terrible and actually caused me to wince at several points because the humor was so off point. There's only so many times someone will laugh at a fart joke or at a character running around in his tighty-whiteys while wearing a cape.  

However, the REAL problem with this game is on the technical front.  It's actually a technical mess.  Firstly, and most annoyingly, the font is way, way, way, too small.  In the normal game, you can just barely read the text on the screen.  This goes for items names, descriptions, stats, prompts to interact with the environment, etc.  When you go into split-screen, the font size is cut in half.  EVERYONE on the internet has been complaining about this for years, and Gearbox has just ignored them.  I'm not even joking, you have to stand like 2 feet away from the screen and lean forward to where you're about a foot from the screen to be able to read anything in the game.  This is unacceptable.   In addition to this, the game has some of the longest load times I've ever seen.   It's around 3-4 minutes just to boot up the game.  Going from area to area or fast traveling takes a minute or two.  Finally, the game runs like total garbage.  There's slow texture loading, screen tearing, bad animations, desynced dialog, items falling through the world, and other bugs all over the place. Not only that, but navigating through the game is a  nightmare.  The areas are very convoluted and overlapping.  This is especially true of the home base, which is one of the most complicated areas I've ever experienced in a game.  Even after spending more than 20 hours in this game, I couldn't find my way to the most basic areas of the base like the weapon vendor, or the command post.  The maps are 3D nightmares and it's not clear how to get from one location to another.  It's almost like the developers TRIED to make it bad.  It doesn't help that it takes several seconds to open the map to see where you are because of loading times.   The final nail in the coffin is the biggest technical problem of all.  The game's framerate is terrible.  After playing more than an hour or so, the framerate drops down to the single digits.  The game becomes so choppy you can barely play it and the dialog sounds like it's in slow motion with clipping in the audio and the voices cutting in and out.  What a mess.  

The truth is that 2K published this game before it was finished and then decided to focus on the COPIOUS amounts of DLC packs instead of fixing the problems with this game.  What a shame.  I probably will never buy another Borderlands game after this.  If I didn't already own the Pre-Sequel (which I haven't played at the time of this review) I wouldn't even play another Borderlands game.  This was a mediocre game to begin with and the glaring technical issues, poor writing, banal missions, and generic areas make Borderlands 3 feel like a total cash grab.  There's no heart in this game.

Final Status: Beaten

Final Score: 5/10 (Mediocre)

Hades (Switch) Review

 

Hades (Switch) Review

Release Date: 19 March 2021

Date Played: 24 April 2021

Well, what can I say about this game that hasn't been said already?  Hades is a rogue-lite hack and slash game from SuperGiant, the developers of Bastion and Transistor.  While Supergiant has made renowned games in the past and I have usually enjoyed them, there was always something about them that held me back from loving them deeply.  This isn't the case with Hades.  This game is a Masterpiece in virtually every possible sense.  It seemed to be every organization's game of the year for 2020 and would have been mine also had it not gone up against the Last of Us II, a game I had an extreme emotional experience with.   But even though it wasn't my top game of the year, that doesn't stop it from being one of the most engaging, addictive, beautiful, and downright best games I've ever played.  

For the last several years there have been a glut of rogue-lite games of every ilk.  They often share the same mechanics and a similar gameplay loop that can get stagnant.  Having to die over and over again in an attempt to unlock some small piece of content like a new item or character can become quite frustrating when you can't succeed.  You attempt the same thing over and over with no reward and no sense of advancement.  You've simply failed and wasted your run.   SuperGiant, in a stroke of genius, have eliminated this problem with the gameplay loop of Hades.

In this game, you play as Zagreus, the son of Hades.  You discover that the goddess who raised you, Nyx, isn't your birth mother.  You soon learn that your real mother, Persephone, has left Hades and is hiding on Earth.  You decide that you have to break out of the underworld and reunite with her.  Of course, your father forbids this and does everything in his power to stop you.   Fortunately for you, the Gods of Olympus have heard of your plight to escape and want you to come join you on mount Olympus.  They offer you boons to aid in your journey through the 4 levels of the underworld.  These boons act as the powerups and upgrade items in the game.  All of the gods have different aspects to their boons.  Zeus has lightning, Demeter has ice, Athena has shields, Dionysus uses poison (termed hangover), Poseidon is water, etc.  Choosing the best boons for your current build is paramount to your success in the game. The boons are also graded and have different rarities that determine their power levels.  An epic form of a boon will be much stronger than the common form. While it can be difficult to make the exact build you want because of the rogue-liteness of the game, there are lots of synergies available between the gods.  If you're lucky enough to get enough boons from the same god, they will offer you a legendary boon if you're lucky.  Sometimes the gods will pair up and offer you a unique duo boon that combines their powers. These can cause Zagreus to become extremely powerful, and it’s fun watching him dash around the screen causing all sorts of havoc.  In addition to this, you have 6 weapons to choose from that are unlocked over time.  These range from a sword, spear, shield, bow, gauntlets, and even a grenade shooting assault rifle. Combining these with the boons can really change up the playstyle of the game.  Also, each of the 6 weapons has 4 unlockable forms that completely change how they work.  Obviously, all of these options open the game up to countless possibilities of playstyles that keep the game from getting boring.  

In addition to this, there are other collectables to gather on your runs.  There's the usual assortment of healing items and health upgrades, money, weapon modifications (changes the playstyle even more), gemstones, and darkness (more on these later),   As you battle your way up through the underworld the 4 areas get progressively more difficult.   Each of these areas looks, feels, and plays totally different from the others.  Some are lava pits where you have to pay attention to your footing, Elysium forces you to fight fallen soldiers that regenerate if you don't kill them fast enough, there are enemies that constantly poison you and require you to kill them with a real sense of urgency..   All in all these areas are fun... but I do wish there was a little more variation than playing the exact same 4 levels over and over. The game is so fantastic, I want more content… I want more levels.   

Zagreus has his attack, a special attack, a cast, and a dash.   All of these can be modified and changed with the aforementioned upgrades.  The controls are simple, but work perfectly and it's a real testament to SuperGiant to know not to overwhelm you with too many controls in such a hectic game.  

I also encountered no technical issues whatsoever in my 80+ hours of playtime.  I never had a framerate drop, crash, bug, or anything at all. 

  

So, that's the gameplay.  It's pretty stellar and a lot of fun.  It by itself would make for a remarkable game.  However, remember when I mentioned how Supergiant fixed the problem with the rogue-like gameplay loop?   Well, that solution is what ascends this game to its masterpiece classification.  In between your runs, you get to wander the halls of your father's house in Hades.  You speak to NPCs and advance your relationship with them.  As you get to know more about their lives and how they came to be in Hades, you actually begin to care for these characters.  You WANT to know more about them.  Soon you'll be exchanging gifts to show your affection for them. Eventually, they will confide in you and  ask you to help them with their plights.  It's all very interesting and adds some worthwhile additional content to the game.  In addition to all of this, you can use the resources you gather during your runs to permanently upgrade Zagreus.  You can level up his weapons, give him new skills, add health, give the ability to reroll items, unlock decorations for the house, gain trinkets that change the gameplay, find companions to help you out on your journey.  Truthfully, there's so much to do and to unlock it can be overwhelming... but, gathering these resources means you'll be just a little bit stronger on that next run.  Did you die on the last boss? No worries, it isn't a wasted run.  You gathered resources and can upgrade your weapon to make it 5% stronger.  So, you'll have a better chance next time.   This constant stream of progression and the elimination of wasted runs is what knocked this game out of the park.  

Even after I "beat the game" I kept wanting to go longer to unlock everything.  After I got the "true ending" I still wanted to keep unlocking the game’s massive amount of content.   As if this weren't enough to keep you busy for the next 300 hours, there's a Pact of Punishment that allows you to increase the difficulty of certain aspects of the game.  Increasing these raises your heat gauge and allows you the chance to get even more collectables to unlock items or level up.  This Pact of Punishment serves to alter the game to an entirely new level and acts as the end game portion. The amount of content in this game is, honestly, unbelievable.  SuperGiant put so much love and care into crafting this game that I'm in awe. 

 After writing all of this, I realized I hadn't even mentioned the aesthetics of the game.  The graphics are beautiful and have that sharp contrast look of the other SuperGiant games.  It's very colorful with dark grays and greens with blood red mixed in.   The soundtrack is very nice (although not as good as their other games, in my opinion) and is performed extremely well.  Finally, I have to give a huge nod to the dialog, voice acting, and characters in this game.   Everything is written perfectly and performed expertly.  Every character in the game is unique, likable, and memorable.  The time I spent with them was memorable and most of the interactions Zagreus had with them often ranged from making me laugh and grin ear to ear, to actually tugging on my heart strings.  I also  loved the world and its charming character. Hades, despite it being the underworld, was truly a beautiful and amazing place.  

 In the end, I unlocked everything in the game and only needed to level up all of the items to their max levels.  I decided to call it here... for now.   I'm not even sure if you can ever truthfully finish the game.  There may be unlockables that go on forever.  You can always bump up the Pact of Punishment another level, or upgrade a chair in the reception hall, or level up your renown in the underworld.  Since I unlocked all of the usable items, and saw all of the possible story, did all the meaningful side missions, I didn't want to burn out on upgrading everything to its maximum level by having to grind runs over and over.   My time with this game was fantastic.  I never got bored playing it and could have kept playing for another 80 hours or more with relative ease.  But, as with all things in life, there's never enough time.  I'm not sure where this game falls in my list of my all-time favorites, but it's certainly high up there.   I have... and will continue recommending this game to anyone who will listen.  

Final Status: Completed

Final Score: 10/10 (Masterpiece)

Final Fantasy Legend II (Game Boy) Review

Final Fantasy Legend II (Game Boy) Review

Release Date: 14 December 1990

Date Played: 8 August 2022

Introduction: 

Final Fantasy Legend II is actually the 2nd game in the SaGa series.  In Japan, it’s known as SaGa 2: Hihou Densetsu, but was given the Final Fantasy name in the West to drum up extra sales despite the fact that it has nothing to do with the series. It was critically praised when it was released, and has gone down in history as one of the best RPGs on the Gameboy. Known for its high difficulty and odd gameplay choices, it nevertheless captured the hearts of countless gamers out there and is not only on many top 10 best Game Boy games lists, but has even been included in some 100 greatest games of all time lists.

Personally, I feel that the people who rank the game this highly are looking at it through rose tinted glasses.  As someone who never played the game when they were a child, I found the game to be frustrating, unfair, and rather grindy. To me, it has some huge flaws that keep it from being a very fun experience.

Story: 

There’s really not much of a story here, despite what the peanut gallery of the internet would have you believe.  After your father abandons you as a child, you set out to find him and to seek out the 77 MAGI stones.  These stones, if all gathered together, will spell armageddon for the world.  It’s your job to collect them all before the bad guys do.  

The plot feels rather pedestrian, as of 2022.  I’m not sure how well it stood out back in 1990, when most RPGs centered around gathering a bunch of crystals, or stones, or what have you, but it certainly doesn’t inspire much imagination.  In addition to this, you also have to restore Isis back to her former glory… Something else that didn’t really hold up over time…

Just to clarify, you restore Isis, the goddess, back to her former glory… not the terrorist group.  

Gameplay:

It’s a standard 8-bit JRPG. If you’ve played one from back then, you know what you’re in for. Gameplay consists of you wandering around an overworld and entering towns where you can talk to townsfolk, buy items, rest at inns, and get information about where to go next.  Out on the overworld and in dungeons, you experience random combat encounters.  These take place in turn based fashion just like you would expect. You select your weapon of choice, beit a sword or a spell, deck out your character with armor, and micromanage stat increases.  With a few exceptions, that I’ll mention next, it feels pretty much like any standard RPG from the time period… and that’s totally fine.  It’s a good formula that still holds up.

What the game does differently, is introduce several new systems that both improve… and ruin an otherwise standard fare.  Firstly, when you start the game, you pick your party of 4 from several different races/classes.  There are humans, mutants, robots, and monsters.  Humans are good with combat, mutants excell at magic, robots use guns, and monsters evolve into different(sometimes better, sometimes worse) monsters when you give them food. It’s a cool idea, and you’re free to build your party however you’d like. Want to be a group of 4 robots, go for it.  Secondly, the game does away with XP and instead implements the most incredibly frustrating system for leveling up I’ve ever seen.  Essentially, your characters just level up their health and stats randomly based on what weapons they use.  If you want to level up strength, use a strength weapon, and then grind for a few hours hoping that your strength will randomly go up.  It’s mind numbing, and I hate it.  Considering the game is very difficult, you’re going to be spending a huge amount of your time grinding… and with no guarantee that you’ll make progress, that can be a motivation killer. Your health points increase at random intervals as well. At one point, I played for over an hour without gaining any additional health for my team.  Lastly, all of the weapons in the game have a limited number of uses before they break. These usually range from 15-50 attacks worth.  But, even at the top end of the scale, that won’t last you too long.  So, you need to equip your characters with several backup weapons so they aren’t left in a helpless state when their main weapon breaks.  To top this off, weapons are expensive, and replenishing them constantly eats away at your money.  So, you’ll need to do additional grinding to keep a full stock of weapons at the ready. These 2 choices the developers made are baffling to me.  I really, really, hate it and I can’t imagine what was going through their minds when they greenlit the ideas.  Also, as an added jab to the ribs, the game loves to hide the entrance to most dungeons in a secret location.  An NPC will say something like, “it’s 5 squares south and 7 squares east from the giant cactus in the desert to the south.” That’s fine for a location or two, but it seems to be the order of the day for this game. Get out of here with that esoteric garbage.  It’s just another way to pad out the game and waste everybody’s time.

As for the random combat encounters, they are ample.  Very ample.  Perhaps the most I’ve ever seen in a game.  Oftentimes, you can’t take even a single step without getting into another fight.  Many of the combat encounters will have 6-15 enemies in them.  The enemies will come in stacks of the same type that are all queued up and blocking each other.   Say you run into a spider, skeleton, and a ninja.  Well, there may be 5 spiders, 5 skeletons, and 5 ninjas all in a row that you have to defeat.  It can be overwhelming and they all tend to attack your main character.  There’s nothing like being hit 6 or 7 times in a row before you really have a chance to act. Even if you can 1-shot an enemy, he’ll be blocking the enemy behind him from your attacks.  So, even if you’re super overpowered for the area you’re in, you’ll still be taking hits from the enemies because of them essentially being meat shields for each other.

Luckily, you can save your game at any time from the menu.  This is really helpful for gaming on the go, and mitigating any draconian garbage that the game throws at you. It’s one of the few saving graces of the game.

Presentation:

The game has some pretty great music, and I’ve seen some reviews where people say it’s their favorite RPG music of all time. Now, I’m not sure I would go that far, but it’s certainly catchy and fits well with the general atmosphere the developers were going for.  The overworld music and combat music are standouts and honestly deserve to be in a better game.  At least you’ll get to hear them a lot with all of the grinding you’ll be doing.

The game looks like a standard 8-bit RPG on the Game Boy.  I’m not really sure what else to say.  The enemy sprites are well done and can be interesting to look at, and the character models are cute and look a lot like Final Fantasy on the NES.  The overworld isn’t much to look at, and can be rather barren and empty at times, but the dungeons have some interesting detail here and there. 

Conclusion:

If this game eliminated the frustrating leveling system and weapon breaking mechanics, it would be much better.  But even then, it would only be a fairly average RPG in my eyes. Maybe I’m being a little hard on it because I don’t have any nostalgia for it, but it really didn’t do anything for me… This is very disappointing, because everyone says that it’s the best in the Final Fantasy Legend series.  Considering I still have the 3rd game in the series left to play, it’s imposing a sense of dread in me that I’m not at all thrilled about.  

I watched a review where the guy said that there was about 6 hours of story in this game, and around 9 hours of grinding.  I’m not sure how a modern gamer would consider this acceptable, nor am I sure how someone in 1990 would consider it either.  It’s just such a waste of your precious time.  Not being able to consistently level your characters when you grind, having to constantly spend all of your money to replenish your breaking weapons, running out of weapons in the middle of a dungeon and not being able to damage the overly unfair enemies, and the hidden dungeon entrances that require to to decipher coordinates are all a bit too much and really hurt the whole experience. This leaves me not only in a position where I wouldn’t recommend the game, but I will come right out and tell you to avoid it if you don’t have a strong sense of nostalgia for it.

Final Status: Played

Final Score: 4/10 (Bad)

Paradise Killer (Switch) Review

 

Paradise Killer (Switch Review)

Release Date: 31 March 2022

Date Played: 3 August 2022

Paradise Killer is a really good murder investigation game that feels a bit like a hybrid between the Danganronpa Series and the PC classic Myst.  While it’s a bit difficult to describe, I would call it a whimsical, vaporwave, cosmic horror, investigation adventure game.  It leans heavily into its over-the-top crazy world building, characters, lore, and story.  But, it still has the gameplay and fun to back it all up.  

It was developed by UK developer Kaizen Game Works and met with pretty decent reviews from the critics and public alike.

  

Story/Gameplay

I’m almost at a loss for words on how to describe the world of Paradise Killer.  Uh…, the Earth has been visited by god aliens from across the cosmos, and a group of people called the Syndicate have created a pocket universe in which to create a perfect society on an island in order to entice and awaken these alien gods.  The syndicate kidnaps humans from Earth and teleports them to the island as “citizens” to act as slaves and worshipers for the gods. The big problem is that the island keeps getting corrupted by demonic presences.  This forces the syndicate to scrap and destroy the island and start over. When this happens, the syndicate murderers all of the citizens and uses their psychic energy to make the next iteration of the island. They are about to unveil the 25th, and perfect, island… but the night before the destruction of the 24th, the governing body of the syndicate called the Council were all mysteriously murdered.  

All evidence points to a demonically possessed citizen of the island.  However, the Syndicate Judge believes there is more than what appears on the surface.  He calls for the Syndicate investigator named Lady Love Dies, to be released from exile to solve the case.

You play as this Lady Love Dies, and you’re let loose on the island to find clues, question suspects, solve puzzles, and build your case for the impending trial.  Unlike the Danganronpa games, that are split into several mini-murder mysteries, Paradise Killer is just one giant 12 hour long investigation of the same crime.  Don’t worry, it never gets boring as you explore the intriguing and unique open world that the game provides for you.  As you meet the extremely weird and memorable cast of characters, gain their trust, and take their testimonies, you’ll uncover more and more about what happened on the night of the murder.  Each of these characters have great personalities and feel very different from each other.  They all have strange names like Carmalenia Silence, Grand Marshal Akiko 14, Witness to the End, Dr. Doom Jazz, etc..  It’s intentionally quirky, but the game’s tendency for oddball terminology can make things a little tricky to remember sometimes. There are a lot of bizarre concepts and rules in Paradise Killer because it’s a weird mishmash pocket universe created by a bunch of insane people, and you’ll have to adapt to their way of thinking and immerse yourself in the world to be able to make sense of what’s actually happening.  In line with the other confusing elements, navigating around the island can be very unintuitive at first as it’s so tightly packed and full of strange landmarks.  There is no compass as far as I could tell, so while you can look at the map to see where everything is in relation to everything else, there’s no good way to figure out which way your character is actually facing.  Personally, I didn’t feel like I really knew my way around the island until about ¾ of the way through the game.  Since navigation takes place in 1st person mode, it can be a little tough to get your bearings, and there seem to be a lot of doors, gates, fences, water reservoirs, hills, and such in your way a lot of the time.  Luckily, once you learn where the landmarks are, you can zip around the island pretty quickly. To help with this, are payphones placed all around the island that serve not only as save spots, but also fast travel nodes.  Sadly, you need to pay 1 blood crystal, the island’s currency, to fast travel.  They are scattered all around the island, but they do seem to have a finite number, so use them sparingly. This is obviously a mechanic built into the game to force you to explore every nook and cranny in search of more blood crystals, clues, and other things to help you piece together the evidence to convict the murderer.

As you meet the game’s characters and ask them questions, this will open up new dialog options for other characters.  You can hold the left trigger button, and it will show you a waypoint for all of the characters in the game and also notify you if they have a new dialog option.  This is immensely handy and takes away a lot of the guesswork of the game, but you’ll still be spending most of your time walking back and forth between the different characters while trying to build their trust and unlock more information.  Luckily, they have pretty good dialog, so it’s not that tedious.

Additionally, you’re given a fantastic notebook that records all of your clues and organizes them in a clear and concise manner.  It even gives you objectives and hints as to what you should be investigating next.  It can be a bit overwhelming a lot of the time, but eventually everything starts to come together and make sense (well as much sense as the island’s crazy rules allow).  

Once you’ve gathered enough information, you can initiate the trial.  Once again, unlike the Danganronpa games, the trial mainly just presents the evidence you’ve collected and strings the reasoning all together for you.  There’s not much thinking involved once you get to this point, and once you finger the suspect, the game just gives you the evidence you’ve collected for them, and you just click through it to present it to the judge.  You don’t have to overcome any objections, or poke holes in the suspect’s testimony, it’s pretty much all done for you.  This really puts the focus on gathering the evidence rather than presenting it and acting as an attorney at the trial.  It’s a bit of a disappointment, but it goes far enough to basically lay out the murders and exactly how they happened.  Due to the complicated nature of the investigation, there were several times during the trial that I was actually thankful they were laying it all out for me… because it’s a lot to piece together.

Presentation:

The biggest draw for Paradise Killer is its vapor wave aesthetic. There are tons of bright colors like pink, blue, purple, and red.  Mixed with these is an almost Egyptian black onyx and gold theme.  It seems very disjointed, but manages to work together in a way I wouldn’t think would be successful.  The island itself is also very interesting and laid out in very distinct and thoughtful areas that remind me of the classic adventure game Myst. Just like in that game, you can feel that the island and its locations were designed and manmade.  It has a familiar, but unworldly feel, that is unique enough to make you want to keep exploring. 

In addition to this is a very subdued and relaxed acid Jazz soundtrack.  It’s primarily designed to be background filler music, a la elevator music, but keeps everything from being too quiet.  Don’t expect to fall in love with some catchy hooks or memorable parts though.  It really is for the background.

The game ran well and I didn’t encounter any bugs or serious framerate drops or anything.  The only complaint I have about the gameplay is that your character has a strange sense of momentum when running around that can be a bit annoying at times.  For example, if you jun and then jump, you’ll almost shoot yourself several meters like a projectile.  However, if you’re standing right up against a waist high fence, and attempt to jump straight up and forward to clear it, you won’t have enough forward inertia to bound over it.  You have to back up and get a running start to clear a lot of objects.  It can make the controls feel a little clunky at times, but since it’s a slowly paced adventure game, the controls aren’t that important. I never really felt like I got the hang of it completely and oftentimes, my traversing the island was brought down to a crawl as I had to walk down some long sidewalk and through a gate because I couldn’t get up enough speed to leap over a waist-high barrier.

Conclusion:

Paradise Killer was a surprisingly fun game.  I really liked the game’s lore, mythos, story, characters, setting, and aesthetic.  Collecting all of the clues for the game was also a blast.  There were a couple of times where I encountered a bit of an esoteric puzzle that required me to get a hint online (and often caused me to roll my eyes because they were so unintuitive), but it wasn’t very often.  I’ve come to expect these in most adventure games, so I wasn’t too miffed.  The trial at the end of the game was a bit of a disappointment.  I was expecting more interaction like in the Danganronpa games, where you had to actually recall the evidence and poke holes in the suspect’s testimony.  Instead, the judge just asks you to present your evidence (which is done by just clicking through it in order) and it’s all automatic. If the game had put more into the trial, which it spent the entire game building up, it really would have elevated the game into that rarified air of the best games out there.

The game did feel like it was starting to drag on a bit too much due to the fast travel mechanic relying on a limited supply of blood crystals. Luckily, it was never too off putting, and I finished the game between 10-12 hours or so.  

If you like games like Phoenix Wright or Danganronpa, you should give this one a try.  It’ll be right up your alley.

Final Status: Completed

Final Score: 8/10 (Great)

Donkey Kong (Game Boy) Review

 

Donkey Kong (Game Boy) Review

Release Date: 1994

Date Played: 25 July 2022

Donkey Kong on the Game Boy, A.K.A. Donkey Kong ‘94, is one of the best games on the entire console.  When I first received it as a present back when I was a kid, I wasn’t too thrilled about it.  “Donkey Kong is lame… and old,” I thought to myself.  In the world of Street Fighter II and Mortal Kombat, who wanted to play some stupid arcade game from over a decade ago.  Begrudgingly, and mostly because I didn’t have anything else to do, I popped the game into my Game Boy and was greeted by the same opening stage that I had seen countless times.  After a few attempts, I had managed to play through the 4 stages of the arcade game, and as I saw DK plummet to the bottom of the screen, I was expecting the game to loop as it always does.  But, there before my eyes, the big ape got up, climbed back up the screen, grabbed Pauline, and escaped with her.  What greeted me next, was a totally different game. I was shocked, as were a lot of people who played it at the time. It never occurred to me that the opening 4 stages of Donkey Kong ‘94 were nothing more than a ruse to subvert your expectations before thrusting you into one of the best puzzle platformers ever made. The game that greeted me from that point forward was fresh, addictive, fun, engaging, and very memorable.  I look back on it with a huge amount of nostalgia, but even with those rose tinted glasses, the game holds up unbelievably well.  Just ask my 5,7, and 10 year old cousins that couldn’t put the game down.  That’s saying a lot, considering their tablets were right at hand. 

Gameplay:

After the 4 initial stages, you play through 9 worlds (with 97 additional stages) in an attempt to get back Pauline.  The premise is simple, grab the key and take it to the exit. Unsurprisingly, there are pits, spikes, enemies, switches, gates, conveyor belts, water hazards, climbing chains, ladders, and every other type of obstacle you could imagine that prevent Mario from having an easy time. Every stage is a puzzle that could involve pulling switches, using precise timing, to pixel perfect platforming, and everything in between. To assist him, Mario has a backflip as well as a headstand into super jump move that will allow you to traverse some of the more tricky sections.  Not only that, in each stage are 3 collectable items.  If you manage to get them all, you will be awarded with a casino mini game at the end of the stage that will grant you extra lives. Every 4 stages, you face off against DK himself (and sometimes DK Jr.) in another attempt to save your ever elusive girlfriend. Besting the ape not only gives you an opportunity to save your progress, but also to rack up some extra lives based on your score. The game can be tough at times, but always fair, and the insane abundance of extra lives is welcome.  It shouldn’t be uncommon for most players to hit the maximum of 99 extra lives before reaching the end of the game.  

Each world is based on a different theme and gameplay mechanic. You’ll go through the Big City, Forest, Ship, Jungle, Desert, Airplane, Iceberg, Rocky-Valley, and finally the Tower as you progress through the ever increasingly complex (and difficult) stages.  Luckily, despite the large amount of them you’ll encounter, everything remains fresh throughout the game’s duration, and there is a near perfect difficulty curve that makes you really feel like you’re getting better and never stuck too long. Although some of the puzzles can be a bit tricky and might take a few attempts to figure out exactly what you’re supposed to do, you’ll eventually have a eureka moment as well as a good sense of accomplishment for clearing the stage. Adding to the overall sense of satisfaction for playing through the game,  the sheer amount of ideas that Nintendo came up with for this game will send your head spinning. It’s such a simple set of mechanics, and they are explored to their fullest. Every stage feels fresh and unique, and the overall length of the game is ideal and never overstays its welcome.

The play control is also stellar and Mario’s movements aren’t clunky at all. Since there is an abundance of platforming, there’s always the opportunity to fall.  Doing so from a medium height will send Mario tumbling, go a little higher, and he’ll bonk his head and be stunned, go even higher… well, that will spell curtains for him.  You’ll need to master all of the little tricks that Mario can do in order to complete some of the stages. The programmers never throw too much at you all at once, and if you can focus, you’ll be able to succeed.

Presentation:  

The game looks fantastic for a Game Boy game and everything is clear and visible (especially if you’re playing on a GBA, Super Game Boy, or Gamecube adapter).  Donkey Kong has a great design and is always happy to display his ample…posterior after landing on his head or climbing the ladders to the next stage.  Everything else is charming and very reminiscent of the original Donkey Kong arcade game.  It looks like it’s supposed to, and that’s all you can ask for.  Not only that, this is one of the few games that has Super Game Boy compatibility, and if you decide to play it that way, you’ll be given a Donkey Kong arcade cabinet as your gameplay border.  Also, you’ll have some enhanced music to enjoy.  It’s a nice bonus, and little things like this are always appreciated.

Speaking of the music, it’s fantastic.  As with all Mario games that I can remember, the music is ultra catchy, memorable, and elevates the entire experience to a whole new level that most other games can only dream of achieving.  The composer, Taisuke Araki, really knocked it out of the park and it’s strange to me that his only other noteworthy composing work was for Wave Race on the Nintendo 64. I feel like his talents were underutilized and if he had been given more opportunities, could have been a well known composer in the video game community.

Conclusion:

Donkey Kong ‘94 is probably my favorite Game Boy game of all time. I still remember it tricking me with its opening stages… 28 years ago… and it’s a fond and nostalgic memory.  Replaying the game now, and actually beating it for the first time, I didn’t feel like the game lost any of its luster and it’s just as good as I remembered.  Actually, it’s better, because I recognize good game design now, and let me tell you, this game has it. If you dive into the peanut gallery of the internet, you’ll find a small contingent of fans praising this game and hailing it as a masterpiece. Although it seemed to be mostly forgotten shortly after it’s release, it has maintained almost universal acclaim. It is even listed in some of the “100 Best Games of All Time” lists. If you like Mario, Donkey Kong, puzzle games, platformers, or a good time, you should definitely play it.  I honestly don’t have a single bad thing to say about this game.  For a pure video game, it’s perfect.

Final Status: Completed

Final Score: 10/10 (Masterpiece)

Super Monkey Ball Banana Mania (Switch) Review

 

Super Monkey Ball Banana Mania (Switch) Review

Release Date: 5 October 2021

Date Played: 1 July 2022

Super Monkey Ball Banana Mania is a remake of Super Monkey Ball, Super Monkey Ball 2, and Super Monkey Ball Deluxe and was released for the 20th anniversary of the series to appease the hordes of rabid fans that had been clamoring for a new entry into the series.  It was met with generally favorable reviews from the public and critics alike, but was strongly disliked by veterans of the series due to some blatant technical issues.  It was developed by Ryu Ga Gotoku Studio and published by Sega.  

Gameplay:

Banana Mania contains all 300 stages and minigames from Super Monkey Ball Deluxe (which is a compilation of all stages from Monkey Ball 1&2). Just like all of the previous Monkey Ball games, your goal is to navigate your monkey ball from the beginning of the stage to the goal at the end. Rather than controlling the monkey itself, you instead tilt the entire stage and allow gravity and the game’s physics to maneuver yourself around the obstacles, ramps, jumps, and other barriers as you make your way to the goal before the time limit runs out.  You’ll also need to be wary of falling off of the edge of the level as most of them have no walls to prevent you from plummeting to the void below.  Falling off the edge restarts you at the beginning of the stage and you get as many attempts as you would like.  This is a departure from some of the earlier games in the series that had a limit to the number of attempts you could make. As you make your way through the ever increasingly difficult levels, you’ll not only need to rely on a steady hand to keep from careening over the narrow and precarious platforms, but you’ll also need to whip out your fast-twitch reflexes for some of the more speed based levels. At times the stages are more like a puzzle with hidden switches and odd timings.  Sometimes, you can’t even figure out what you’re supposed to do as there is no seemingly possible way to tackle the level. If you fail enough times, the game will take pity on you and give you the option to get help.  This will give you more time for the stage as well as giving you yellow arrows to follow that will attempt to show you the most optimal course. Even with these, figuring out some of the levels will make you pull out your hair.  

See, Super Monkey Ball is hard.  Despite its cute and bubbly presentation, it’s tough as nails.  Some of the stages are so difficult that they may take hundreds of tries to reach the goal and learning to master these games is only for the most hardcore and serious gamer. It could take hundreds and hundreds of hours to become a Monkey Ball expert and there is a significant number of people out there who fall into this category. They are the ones that know these games so well inside and out, that they were the first ones to detect that something wasn’t quite right with Banana Mania.  According to the developers there are some “rebalances” to some of the stages that are supposed to make the game easier. Coupling this with the unlimited continues, Banana Mania is purported to be a more casual experience for a new generation of gamers while having enough fan service to bring back the old school fans.  Banana Mania was remade in Unity, a video game engine that was different from the one used in the original games.  While it does look flashier and seems to work well, the physics, camera, and control are just a bit “off” from the way they felt in the original games.  On top of that, the Switch’s analog sticks don’t aren’t precise enough to give you that extremely tight control that you need.  I heard stories of expert Monkey Ball players that can clear the original games without ever dying not being able to complete some of the beginner stages in Banana Mania.  One Youtuber who held a world record in the game at one point couldn’t even finish the story mode because the control was so bad and he struggled so much. Tons of fans of the series said the camera was so abysmal that the game was essentially unplayable and it’s better to just disable it because it has a habit of rotating on its own.  Not only does this often make it difficult to see where you’re going, it will also change your trajectory.  So, if you’re on flat ground and you hold directly down on the analog stick, you will begin by heading down, but the camera will then start rotating to position itself behind the monkey.  Once it has rotated 90 degrees, pressing down no longer moves the monkey down, instead it starts moving it 90 degrees to the left. It’s so incredibly frustrating and if you’re in a hectic area where you’re bouncing all around, you’re constantly having to fight against the camera.  Never has maintaining a straight line been so difficult. 

On the other hand, newcomers to the series seemed to have no issues with the game and said that it was totally fine and that the old players were just so used to controlling the games with a different controller that they were having a difficult time adapting to the Switch’s analog sticks. The truth is somewhere in the middle.  Yes, the controls and camera aren’t as tight as they were in the originals.  Yes, the Switch’s analog sticks aren’t well suited for the game.  However, if you don’t have deep rooted Monkey Ball muscle memory, you can learn to adapt to playing the game this way.  That is, until you start getting into some of the more difficult stages. Now, I’m not a Monkey Ball master, but I can give you an example.  On the stage, “Sieve” you have to navigate down a narrow path that has rings zipping up and down its length.  If your monkey ball is hanging slightly over the edge of the path, the rings will collide with it as they shoot by and knock you off the edge.  For the final part of the stage, you have to traverse an extremely long and narrow path with a very tight ring that leaves very little tolerance for being anywhere but dead center of the path.  Right before this section, there is a safe zone where you can line up your ball and make sure that you’re perfectly centered and traveling straight.  Now, at this point, no matter how slowly I went, or how softly and gingerly I tapped the analog stick, I couldn’t get anywhere remotely close to centered on Banana Mania.  I turned the analog stick sensitivity down as low as it would go (and likewise for the camera), and used all my skills to try to center up my monkey ball.  I would just barely touch it and it would overshoot my mark.  Then, I would tap it to correct and it would overshoot the other way.  I would sit there and fiddle around with it until time almost ran out, and could never get it right.  Once I finally tried to traverse the narrow path, I would start to veer off of the edge and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t correct my trajectory in small enough increments to keep the ball centered and would inevitably get knocked off by the flying ring.  It took me almost 45 minutes of trying this stage just to complete it (over 100 tries) and I only felt like I was able to beat it with sheer luck.  Fast forward to this morning, and I popped my copy of Super Monkey Ball 2 into my Gamecube and tried the same level.  I was able to beat it on my first try. I got in the safe spot, tapped a few times to center myself, and then just pressed up on the analog stick. The controls are just so much more precise and the gamecube controller has plastic segments shaped in an octagon that surround the analog stick.  So, if you press up, the analog stick snaps into position at exactly 12:00.  On the Switch, if you press up on the analog stick, you might be off by 3% because there’s nothing there to guarantee you’re in the exact correct position.  For a game like Monkey Ball, a 3% margin of error is just too much to succeed. It can be extremely frustrating getting close to finishing a level over and over while failing because the controls just don’t work the way they should.  There are different monkeys you can choose to play as that have different attributes, so trying different ones might help you get over a hump that you’re struggling with. Still, sometimes it feels like you need sheer luck to help you finish certain stages.

In addition to the main story mode of the game and the challenge levels, you also have all of the beloved minigames from Super Monkey Ball Deluxe.  

These include:

Monkey Dogfight, where you have to shoot down the other players in an aerial combat scenario.  It’s pretty fun and controls rather well, but the levels are huge and there’s a lot of time just looking for your opponents rather than firing at them.

Monkey Boat, where you have to race down a river by alternatingly tapping the shoulder buttons to row your boat. There are combat powerups a la Mario Kart.  It’s fun, but can be a bit of a chore to play.

Monkey Tennis, where you just play tennis.

Monkey Billiards, where you just play billiards.

Monkey Fight, where you try to knock/punch your opponent off of a platform for points.  You’re in the monkey ball for this one, so it’s very physics heavy.

Monkey Golf, where you’re the golf ball on a miniature golf course.  It’s a lot of fun, but in the end it is just a golf game.

Monkey Soccer, is a simplified version of the game where everyone is in a monkey ball.  It’s quick paced and a lot of fun.

Monkey Target, where you roll down a ramp before launching your monkey into the sky where you have to glide towards various targets to earn a high score. This was one of the most popular parts of Monkey Ball Deluxe.

Monkey Baseball, where the pitcher throws themself at the batter who then attempts to knock them into sectioned off areas that determine if it’s a base hit, homerun, or out.  There is no fielding in the game and it feels very arcade-like and fun.

Monkey Race, that’s basically just Mario Kart with everyone in a Monkey Ball instead of a go kart.  It works well, but nothing will ever live up to Mario Kart.

Monkey Shot, is an on rails shooter where you go through three levels of shooting down enemies before having a boss fight.  It has nothing to do with Monkey Ball, and I’m surprised it’s here.  But, it really is a nice inclusion.

Monkey Bowling, is bowling with monkey balls.  Line up your shot, and let it fly.  

These minigames/party games are a huge draw to the whole package and there are more than a handful of people that bought the entire game just to play them with their friends.  The problem is that the physics in some of the games are just broken and don’t work.  Monkey Target is probably the favorite minigame for most people, and it is essentially unplayable.  None of the controls perform like they should, and it’s almost impossible to score any points.  It completely ruins the game because you repeatedly crash into the water over and over and can’t seem to keep elevation.  In addition to this, baseball’s physics are off too and it’s nearly impossible to aim your shots when batting.  The other minigames perform fine, especially when playing with other people.  

Presentation:

Banana Mania looks good and does a lot to update the appearance of some games that are 20 years old.  There are new textures abound and the game is as bright and colorful as ever.  All of the monkeys are really cute and charming and are able to carry the over-the-top silliness of the game. Also, I think the game runs at a pretty constant 60 frames per second. In story mode, there are little vignettes between the various worlds where you get to see some animation of the monkeys watching craziness on TV.  It’s a nice addition, but they weren’t really able to hold my attention and I found myself going for my smartphone whenever they came on.  The soundtrack that accompanies the action has a late 90s, early 2000s dance music sound to it that works well overall with the whole package and really helps it keep its feel of being an arcade game. It’s good, but I don’t find it particularly memorable or catchy.  That’s probably due to my being so white-knuckled focused on the gameplay that I can’t concentrate on anything else. Of course, in true Sega fashions, you have an announcer calling out the game’s title and little quips like, “Get Ready!” At the beginning of every stage.  

Conclusion:

Super Monkey Ball Banana Mania is a complete package that is executed a little below what it needed.  It has everything you could ever want in a Monkey Ball game, but its poor controls and camera don’t give you the tools you need to actually make progress in the game.  In addition to this, the best minigames aren’t really functional and you can’t play them the way they were meant to be played.   If you’re a casual Monkey Ball fan and just want to play a few of the easier-medium difficulty stages, Banana Mania is a fine way to do that.  If you are already a Monkey Ball expert (or want to become one), I don’t think Banana Mania is going to let you do that. It just makes the game way too difficult.

I guess you could spend an incredible amount of practice learning to deal with the poor controls and camera.  But, why waste all that time when you can just play the older versions of the game and be instantly better?

Pros:

• The Monkey Ball games look better than ever

• It’s a fun concept for a game that will give you tons of fun (and frustration)

• There is an abundance of content to sink your teeth into

• Great pick up and play arcade feel that’s very welcoming

• Easy to learn, hard to master

Cons:

• The physics engine is different from the original games and doesn’t work as well

• Some stages that are relatively easy on the old versions are nearly impossible here

• The best minigames don’t function like they are supposed to

Final Status: Played

Final Score: 7/10 (good)