Metropolis: Lux Obscura (PS4) Review

 

Metropolis: Lux Obscura (PS4) Review

Date Released: 11 October 2017

Date Played: 16 May 2022

Introduction:

Metropolis: Lux Obscura is a blatant cash grab in every sense of the word.  It's an extremely short game that is mostly focused on telling a story that's ripped off from Frank Miller's Sin City. It's full of dark and moody comic book style art overflowing with hyper-sexualized images of women and a brooding and edgy anti-hero that screams, "I'm too cool to follow the rules..." On top of that, what little gameplay there is consists of choose your own adventure dialog choices that alter the game's ending interspersed with Match-3 puzzle gameplay a la Bejeweled or Candy Crush. It feels like something you'd find for sale on a mobile phone for $0.99... or less.  All that being said, Metropolis isn't a bad game.  I'm shocked to say it, but I had a good time with it and actually wish there was more content to sink my teeth into.  I played through the game 4 times and unlocked every trophy and despite some frustration with the gameplay, had a very enjoyable time.

Story:

As mentioned above, the real focus of this game is on its story.  You play as Lockhart, a convicted criminal, who is recently released from prison and is ready to sink his teeth back into the seedy underworld that he's been so desperately missing.  While looking for his missing girlfriend, trying to find the jerk who testified against him in court, and taking odd jobs for an organized crime boss, he's thrust back into the dangerous and nefarious past.  

Towards the beginning of the game, you're given several choices to make.  Let the junkie go, or beat him and take his dope?  Give the dope to the crime boss, or keep quiet? All of these choices have some consequences and will lead you to one of the game's 4 endings.  All of these are quite different, and in classic noire style are rarely happy.  Lockhart is lovable jerk, but he has too much baggage from his past to walk away unscathed.  While you root for him to have a better life, it's easy to say to yourself, "well, I guess he had it coming to him" whenever something tragic occurs.  

Much like the rest of the game, the story takes some strong queues from Bruce Willis' story in the movie Sin City.  There are some strong comparisons in the plot, characters, and outcomes.  However, if you're going to rip off something from that movie, that's the best choice by far. It manages to walk that tight rope of plagiarism/inspiration carefully, but it's quite obvious where the developers got their ideas.  Even then, you're probably going to want to play through the game several times to try to see all of the endings. Yes, it's a ripoff.  But, it's a good ripoff.

Gameplay:

Well, outside of the dialog choices that affect the game's endings, there's not much to say.  You select a location of the city map to advance the story.  Sometimes you have options, but usually not.  Regardless, it's mostly a linear affair.  Once you get there, a bit of the story will play out and will result in you getting into a fight.  These battles are played via Match 3 puzzle style gaming.  You have a grid with different icons on it, and you slide and shift the pieces to make matches of at least three.  Doing so deals damage to you opponent.  If you're able to match more than three by combining 4,5, or chaining together matches, you'll deal bonus damage. Every few turns, the enemy will attack you, and the first one to lose all of their hit points lose the battle. There are also med kits you can match for healing, rage icons to boost damage, and police badges that will damage you if you accidentally match them.  It's all very basic, and we've seen it a million times before in games like Bejeweled, Puzzle Quest, and even everyone's mother-in-law's passion, Candy Crush.  It works well, and is always addictive, but does feel like a bit of a cop-out in terms of gameplay.  It's almost as if the developers just wanted to write a graphic novel, but decided to turn it into a video game at the last second. Then, they realized that they didn't know anything about video games, Googled, "most popular video games" and then saw that Facebook and mobile games had the most downloads... and they just went with that.

They somewhat combat the appalling banality of their gameplay choices by making the puzzles randomized and rather challenging.  You'll fail a lot of the combat encounters and will have to try them several times. Luckily, the game autosaves before each one, so dying isn't that big of a setback.  After winning a battle, you're given the option to upgrade one of your character's aspects.  These range from dealing more damage on matches, healing more from health matches, getting bonuses from matching 4 or more at a time, etc.. These can really help out with the tougher battles and once you've learned which skills to upgrade, can make the game a cake-walk. Your first playthrough might make you pull out your hair, but the subsequent ones are easy to fly through once you learn what works best. 

Presentation:

Well, the game is just a blatant ripoff of the Sin City graphic novel. I don't know how else to say it. There are lots of grisly dudes and scantily clad women all presented in black and white.  Most of these will have a bright pop of color to draw your eye to some blood, fire, police lights, or (more often then not) lingerie. Metropolis has a very strong emphasis on sexuality and it's pretty much the main draw for most consumers and the developers really tried to wrangle in some potential buyers with promises of lots skin and thongs. I'm not sure how that works as a business model, but there's plenty of nudity, violence, foul language, and drug use for even the most deprived of us out there. After all, they suckered me into buying the physical edition of the game (which only got a release in Europe as far as I can tell). My advice, you better make sure the kids are in bed before firing up this one. 

Despite it's lurid nature and general "over-the-topness," it's done very well and the art department knocked everything out of the park. All of the components fit together thematically, and you can see why Lockhart couldn't wait to get back into this world. 

All of the fantastic comic art is presented as a still image with some text and voice over. The developers describe it as a "motion comic," But take that with a grain of salt.  The motion is just some aftereffects to ad some scaling and movement to the motionless pictures.  Even though this is a bit more "budget" focused than you would want in a game, the quality of the artwork makes up for it, and your eyes will still be glued to the screen. The accompanying voice over work really brings a since of life to the characters and is a very welcome addition. Some of the voice acting can be hit or miss, but it's never so bad that it distracts from the whole experience and I don't thing the game would have the same impact if it had just been text only.

There is some music during the match 3 fights, but it's just a basic loop that's pretty bass heavy.  It does a good job of adding some sinister energy to the "combat" but it's not memorable at all.  Outside of this, I don't even remember if there's any music anywhere else in the game.  I think it's just mostly sound effects and voice over work.

Conclusion:

Like I said, there are some really lazy design choices in this game.  The match 3 puzzle fights and the blatant Sin City ripoff are a bit off putting.  But, the artwork and storylines help save this game from being a completely forgettable and cheap experience.  I personally think the game would work better as a graphic novel, but that might be a little too on the nose and would certainly evoke a response from Frank Miller's legal team.  As it stands, I guess I consider Metropolis: Lux Obscura as a visual novel with a healthy dose of puzzle gaming thrown in.  Personally, I wish there was even more story and that the game was 2 or 3 times longer.  I wanted to spend more time with the characters and really get to know them better.  You can knock out all of the game's endings and all of its trophies in just a few hours.  So, if you like Sin City, don't mind puzzle gaming, are an adult, and have an evening to kill, you should try this one.  It's better than you would think.

Final Status: Completed (100%)

Final Score: 7/10 (The artwork and stories saved the day)

Quarth (Famicom) Review

Quarth (Famicom) Review

Date Released: 13 April 1990

Date Played: 17 January 2022

Introduction:

Quarth is a quirky game developed by Konami.  It's a mixture of a 2D puzzle game like Tetris combined with a vertical scrolling shmup (or so Wikipedia would have you believe).  It was originally released in arcades back in 1989 and was known as Block Hole outside of Japan.  This version released for the Famicom is a good port and is a ton of fun to play. It's very tiring to play though and your fingers will be begging for mercy, so break out your NES Advantage Joystick and get your hands all limbered up, because you're going to need every bit of dexterity that you can muster.

Gameplay:

You play as one of two ships that are completely identical other their appearance.  One is a standard space ship that appears to be decked out for battle and is basically as generic as possible.  The other one is a cute lunar lander capsule that's being carried by cherubs and totally awesome and unique.  I love it and have no idea why anyone would ever choose the boring old space ship. On this same screen you can select which of the 10 levels you would like to start from (like Tetris).  Each of these have increased difficulty and if you start from the beginning, get ready for the long haul because it will take a while and the tendons in your hands will be screaming. Still, it's nice to be able to pick up where you left off without having to spend a bunch of time playing through the same easier stages over and over again.

Gameplay is unique and I don't know of any games quite like this.  It does share some similarities with other games in terms of concepts and execution, but it's really its own thing and I'm surprised it isn't more well known.  Your ship sits at the bottom of the screen and can move left or right as the screen slowly scrolls upwards.  Instead of enemies to shoot, you will encounter various quadrilateral (squares and rectangles for those of us who haven't had geometry in a couple of decades) shapes with missing pieces.  Your ship shoots blocks instead of bullets and your goal is to fill in the missing pieces of the rectangles.  When a rectangle is made whole, it will vanish and award you with points. This is obviously very similar to Tetris as you have to train yourself to recognize patterns and prioritize which blocks to clear first. The trick is to find groups of rectangles placed together and chain them into one huge block for a bonus score and to clear the screen faster. One technique that you'll need to employ if you want to succeed is to realize that the screen stops scrolling as the blocks are cleared.  So, if you clear a large block for a big score bonus, you'll have several seconds of the screen scrolling being frozen.  This is your opportunity to try to clear the remaining blocks on the screen.  Keeping these clears chained together is essential to have time to deal with everything and if you're not able to clear the blocks fast enough, and they reach the line right above your ship, you crash and lose a life.  Once you're out of lives, it's game over.  There are several powerups to assist you. They have abilities that range from stopping the scrolling, giving score multipliers, or even destroying all blocks on screen. It's a fantastic system and is a perfect example of easy to learn and difficult to master.  You'll know everything you need to after only a couple of minute and is a perfect example of pick up and play arcade fun.

As mentioned above, there are 10 levels broken into 10 sections each and clearing each one will advance you to the next.  Difficulty ramps up very quickly and by stage 3, things will start to get pretty tense and hectic for the average gamer.  When using a joystick, you'll find yourself quickly tapping the fire button in rhythmic patterns as you tap the joystick to move quickly around the screen.  The way you control the joystick feels a lot like the Magical Drop series of games and if you were to watch someone's hands without knowing what game they're playing, you would have a tough time differentiating between the two.  I'm not sure how anyone can make much progress on this game using a standard controller because you'd have blisters on your fingers in no time.  You have to input a ton of commands at lightning speed even on some of the lower levels and it's very impressive to watch someone truly skilled have a go at this game.  Typing this review right now, my wrists are still tight and sore from my previous play session.

There are some 2-player cooperative and competitive options if you can get a friend to play with you.  They're a lot of fun and can get pretty intense during a heated play session.

Presentation:

Quarth looks pretty decent for a puzzle game from the 8-bit era.  You don't want things to look too busy because you need to read the patterns on the screen at lightning speed, but everything is colorful and vibrant. The backgrounds, borders, and blocks all have pallet swaps between stages and while overall aesthetics are sparse it really helps in the graphics department.   The music that accompanies the game is decent enough and has that trademark Konami feel, but it certainly isn't one of their best and even after hours of playing this game with the same couple of tracks repeated over and over, I can't even recall what they sound like or if there's a catchy melody. It's almost as if it went in one ear and right out the other.  Not a good sign for a game with such addictive gameplay. Still, as basic as the presentation is, it doesn't do anything to hinder the amount of fun you'll be having.

Conclusion:

This is a great little game that I'm surprised not more people know about.  It never left Japan on the Famicom and the only Western release (outside of the arcade) that I know of is on the original Game Boy.  I'm sure plenty people played it there as Konami was probably trying to cash in on the puzzle game craze that was brought on by Tetris being the pack-in game for the Game Boy, but I've never heard anyone mention it. It's a shame that it wasn't brought to the NES because I think it would have been a fairly popular game.  It's a ton of fun even if the music is a little lackluster and playing for more than a few minutes is super hard on your hands .  Other than that, my only complaint about the game is that I don't really see the shmup comparison.  If the screen just fell downwards like in Tetris rather than your ship flying upwards, no one would ever remotely consider comparing it to a shmup. Still, I see what Konami was aiming for and I commend them on an original concept even if it was a little harebrained.

If you're a fan of puzzle games or tense and twitch based arcade gaming, you have to give Quarth a try.  It's an underrated gem for sure.

Final Status: Played (I could clear up to stage 6)

Final Score: 8/10 (Pretty Great)

Tetris Effect (PS4) Review

Tetris Effect (PS4) Review

Released: 9 November 2018

Played 28 December 2021

Introduction:

Tetris Effect was released to critical acclaim back when it came out in the autumn of 2018.  I remember seeing it on many best game of the year lists, and I'm pretty sure I remember it winning basically ALL of the best VR game of the year awards.  It was boldly named after the phenomena that compulsive Tetris players experience when they devote some much time and interest to the game that it begins to invade their thoughts and dreams to the point where they keep playing the game in their mind subconsciously. This arrogant statement on part of the developers and publisher was nothing short of a gauntlet being thrown.  To just come right out and declare this iteration of the game to be THAT addictive took some guts. After all, we've seen Tetris released again and again over the last 3 decades.  What new ideas can this game bring to the table to revitalize the the aging franchise?  The answer, surprisingly, was that it didn't need to bring much.  All it took for most people was to slap a fresh coat of paint on game we've all visited countless times. Basically, Tetris Effect is just plain old Tetris with pretty backgrounds, bright colors, interesting visuals, cool sound effects, and bumping tunes that can be played in VR.  For some fans, this was just a cash grab and didn't offer anything worthy of a new release.  For others, it was an, "emotional and spiritual" experience that touched them deeply.  I was curious to know where I would fall.

Gameplay:

Other than a few slight changes, this game is just... Tetris.  There are the same five pieces that come falling down from the top of the screen and you have to flip them and arrange them in order to make complete lines.  Once you do this, the line is cleared and disappears.  The more lines you clear at once, the more points you earn.  Slowly, the game speeds up more and more until the pieces fall at lightning speed and you attempt to survive as long as possible to increase that high score.  In the upper right, you get a preview of the next piece that will appear so you can try to plan your moves and last a little longer.  Returning is the mechanic where you can chose to holster a piece and save it for when you most need it.  Whether this is for a huge scoring opportunity or for survival is totally up to your skills at the game.  In addition to the basic gameplay, there is a new Zone mechanic to add a little more variety and freshness to the experience.  As you clear lines, your zone meter fills up.  Once it is full, you can activate it to basically give yourself "bullet time" for a few seconds.  This causes the gameplay to slow to a crawl and allow you to try and clear out the detritus that has built up to this point.  If you do well while using this zone mechanic, you can rack up an even bigger score and maybe even save yourself from a game over. It's a helpful mechanic for sure, but I couldn't help but feel that the developers could have been a little more original in spicing up the gameplay.  We've seen the slow-down mechanic in countless games in the past and it feels a little too on-the-nose in this circumstance.

There are several different modes in the game to add some longevity to the package.  The main campaign mode just takes you through progressively harder and harder stages and is the main event where most people will spend the majority of their time.  In addition to this are modes that let you see how many lines you can clear in a set time period, or see how many points you can score in a set number of line clears, etc.  There's pretty much a mode for every variation of Tetris you can think of, and if you're a huge fan of the gameplay, there's plenty here to keep you busy for a long time. Other than the clear conditions, the gameplay remains the same in all of the modes that I tried. I feel like this was another missed opportunity to add some additional flavor to this side of things and I was honestly a little disappointed by the lack of content here.

Presentation:

The presentation is where Tetris Effect attempts to set itself apart form all of the other Tetris games that came before it. It takes the 2D Tetris board, and surrounds it with striking scenery and visuals.  You may be on a beach, flying through the air, sitting at the bottom of the sea, or being bombarded with fireworks.  As your eyes are being overloaded by the bright colors and gorgeousness being thrown at you, a spectacular soundtrack attacks your auditory system to pull you completely into these environments.  Not only that, but the colors, sounds, music, and scenery all change and ebb and flow to match your gameplay and the current mood.  When you play this in VR, it really is a magnificent experience unlike anything I've seen before.  It is incredibly immersive, beautiful, and thrilling at the same time. I have to fully commend the developers on what they've done here to make these environments so spectacular. I'm not exaggerating when I say that the visual experience is one of the finest I've ever seen in any game and it's a true marvel through and through. The soundtrack and sound design is no less wonderful and ranges from ambient and minimalist soundscapes to pumping tribal themes.  Each song builds and synergizes with the visual extravaganza to transport you to another world. The big question is, "is this a world you want to visit while doing something as banal as playing a game of Tetris?"

Conclusion:

I'm almost at a loss for how to describe this game.  It's just such a weird and bizarre concept.  The best way I can describe the whole experience is to say that... it's like being at an EDM festival... while playing Tetris.  Picture yourself surrounded by thumping music, flashing lights, bright colors, and a palpable energy that surrounds everything and threatens to send you into sensory overload; all the while you're looking down at your Game Boy and playing Tetris.  Personally, I think Tetris is a great game.  It is without a doubt the most important puzzle game ever made, and is still probably the best.  Also, the sights and sounds of this game are spectacular and can truly transport you to a new and amazing place.  But, unfortunately, these two ideas are at odds with each other in my opinion.  It's difficult to fully let yourself be absorbed in the VR experience because your eyes and attention are so focused on the 2D Tetris game going on directly in front of you.  And it's sometimes difficult to focus on the game of Tetris that you're trying to clear while pops and bursts of color and exploding all over the place and distracting you. 

This also leads me to the second issue of this game being at odds with itself.  Tetris is very addictive by design and there is a big urge to keep playing.  Even the title of this game acknowledges this concept. So, you find yourself playing a highly addictive game in this immersive world that you don't want to leave.  But you're wearing a VR headset... and anyone who has ever used one of these before will not hesitate to tell you how uncomfortable they can get after a while.  My head, neck, and eyes were so sore after playing this game for an hour that I just couldn't go any longer.  Luckily, I didn't experience any motion sickness.  But, no matter how much I wanted to keep playing, I HAD to put the game down after about an hour and give the VR a break. Even if you want to keep going... you just can't.

At times Tetris Effect can be a calm and relaxing experience and at others can be a breakneck, heart-pounding, and tense one.  If you really want to sit back and just enjoy Tetris for half an hour or so, this is probably the best way to do it. Maybe if I were more into the EDM scene, I would have been able to say that this game was the, "Emotional and spiritual" experience that some others had felt.  But, while beautiful and immersive, I can't honestly say that the game game anywhere close to that for me.  In the end, it really is just Tetris with pretty backgrounds. 

Sadly, I feel like this game is the perfect example of the opposite of synergy.  The sum is less than that of its parts.  Tetris Effect is the best puzzle game of all time set in one of the most visually appealing and engrossing VR experiences of all time.  But these two things don't work together to elevate each other and the whole experience doesn't bring enough new to the table to revitalize the genre for me.  It also doesn't help that playing this game in VR, which is the preferred way, is not comfortable for long sessions.  So, even if I loved it, I couldn't play as much as I would want to.

Final Status: Beaten (campaign cleared)

Final Score: 7/10 (Good)

Dimension Drive (PS4) Review

 

Dimension Drive (PS4) Review

Release Date: 7 December 2017

Date Played: 19 November 2021

Dimension Drive is a vertical shmup developed by 2Awesome Studio that really tries to innovate on the same old formula we've seen again and again in shooters.  They took the tried and true method that has worked for the last 3 decades and threw it out of the window to usher in a challenging and brain melting new concept that is actually more of a puzzle game than a shooter. 

It's the year 6545 and you play as Jack, an orphaned girl from a destroyed planet, who has fled her pursuers by jumping to a different dimension.  These pursuers called the Ashjul are warmongering villains who will only be satisfied by not only conquering the known universe, but ALL universes.  They have recently jumped into the dimension where Jack is currently living and begun their campaign.  Jack, who is armed with a special ship, the Manitcore, that can jump at will between two dimensions sets out to fend off and destroy the Ashjul empire while protecting her friends along the way.  

You may have noticed that I spent more time talking about the story in this shmup far more than I normally do. The reason for this is because the developers have really tried to create a fully fleshed out story with interesting characters.  This, of course, is an oddity for a shmup and is rarely attempted and usually glossed over.  The reason for this is because the story in a shooter often feels forced and serves as nothing more than a distraction from the focus of the game... which is the gameplay.  Unfortunately, this is also the case for Dimension Drive.  Between every stage, we're given an animated series of static screens with dialog in the form of text at the bottom of the screen.  These cut scenes go on for far too long and really feel like more of a nuisance more than anything.  I personally didn't find the character's art style or their personalities to be that engaging or interesting and I eventually lost interest in the plot all together.  If I were to describe it, I would say it has the depth of a Saturday morning cartoon.  

As for the gameplay...  oh, the gameplay.  I'm not going to beat around the bush, I hated almost every second I spent with Dimension Drive.  I don't know if I'm just too stupid to get the hang of the gameplay or if it's just poor design; but, I could never get into the flow of playing this game and eventually rage quit and almost threw my controller.  I'm shocked this happened and I don't remember ever getting this frustrated or angry playing a game EVER.  Now, I'm not the best gamer of all time and never claimed to be. But, in terms of similar games, I have 1 credit cleared Ikaruga, Ketsui, and Mushihimesama Futari (all considered to be some of the hardest shmups ever made) and I never came close to being as frustrated with those games as I was with this one. So, what's the issue with this game? Basically, it's just that the mechanics are so mind scrambling that I could never get the hang of them. Let me lay it all out for you in a way where you can get a glimpse into what it's like to play this game without actually having to play it yourself.  I would never want to subject anyone to such a curse.

The screen is split into 2 separate playfields; one on the right, and one on the left.  You essentially have to play both screens at the same time.  Your ship exists on only 1 screen at any given moment, but the enemies and hazards for both screens are always progressing whether your currently on that screen or not. You press a button to jump from one screen to the other and this is the main mechanic of the game.  The screens don't match and there are different enemies, bullets, and barriers on the two screens at the same time. You have to try to focus on the screen you're currently playing, but you need to be mindful of the other one at the same time because you never know when you're going to have to warp over there. You'll be constantly flipping back and forth between the two dimensions to maneuver your way through the hails of bullets and to sneak around barriers that will cause you to crash. The whole experience is like trying to carry on two conversations at once.  You try to focus on listening intently to one person while also trying to catch the gist of what the other person is saying.  Anyone who's every been to a party an experienced this nightmare knows exactly what I'm talking about. It isn't fun, and no one ever wants to do it. You may ask yourself, "what's stopping you from mainly staying on one side all of the time and ignoring the other side?"  Well, you have an energy gauge that depletes as you shoot. When it's empty, you can no longer fire.  The only way to refill it is by collecting green orbs from fallen enemies or by switching to the other dimension for a little bit while the gauge for the other side recharges. So, if you stay one one side for too long, you're forced by the game to jump to the other side. Having to keep track of this energy bar becomes a huge focus of the game and sucks the life right out of the whole shooting experience.  Luckily, it doesn't even matter that much because shooting the enemies and dodging their bullets isn't really the focus of this game.  Instead, the developers decided to make the meat and potatoes of the game be centered around avoiding walls and other obstacles by having to carefully position yourself in the correct dimension so you can circumvent a collision in the wrong dimension.  This makes the game feel like Velocity X2 , another similar game that had you teleporting around the screen to avoid obstacles.  It, too, felt more like a puzzle game than a shmup and I didn't care for it either.  But, at least in that game, you could focus your eyes on the same screen without having to dart your eyes back and forth to see what's going on like in this game.  Having to deal with teleporting between the two different dimensions was miserable and I didn't like it at all. You're given some shields that negate a few hits from bullets and laser beams, but they don't help when you broadside a wall.  If you want to know what it feels like to do this, toss a ball up and down repeatedly with one hand while trying to type at a keyboard with your other hand.  Keep your eyes focused on the ball while trying to type out the lyrics to your favorite song.  But, every time you type the letter R, you have to switch your eyes over to look at the keyboard for 5 seconds while keeping the ball tossing going and never missing a beat on the keyboard.  Try it, I dare you.

In addition to this, as you progress into the game, you unlock EVEN MORE mechanics that throw additional wrenches into the gears of any fun you may have.  The first of these is the ability to slow down and flip your ship around to shoot behind you.  At first, I thought that this might make things easier and would work like slamming on the breaks before you crash into another wall.  But, instead the game starts adding in this remarkably stupid mechanic of having to shoot switches that are scattered around the levels and that unlock doors blocking your way.  Often you'll be focused on playing in one dimension and you'll come to a dead end where you'll be forced to teleport over to the other side, turn backwards, shoot the switch, turn back round, then teleport back to the other side to continue.  This sort of thing is constantly going on and it's so brain scrambling to me that I was constantly panicking and making careless mistakes. 

Let's talk about these mistakes a little more.  Truthfully, I don't think I EVER died to an enemy or an enemy shot.  Instead I would constantly die by teleporting to the other screen while my ship was in the middle of a wall or something which results in instant death and sends you back to a checkpoint.  Or, I would quite often think I was playing on one screen while I was actually over on the other one and I would accidentally crash into a wall.  Many other times, I would be in the middle of a situation where I'm having to perform a bunch of teleports and ship flips while fending off enemies and I would accidentally press the teleport button instead of the flip button (or visa versa) and crash into another wall.  I could NOT keep the controls straight and I could never get the hang of things.  Even after HOURS of playing this game, I only marginally improved.  Just when I thought I was getting better, the game would throw another new mechanic at me and all of my hard work would be thrown out of the window.  I know there are people out there who really enjoyed this game, but I cannot figure out why. Also, I know there are a lot of people out there that really didn't stick with the game for very long and became just as frustrated as I did.  How do I know this?  Well, after I finished the 5th of 20 stages (just a quarter of the way through the game), I unlocked a trophy for making it that far and only 8% of the people who had ever played Dimension Drive had also progressed up to this point and unlocked that same trophy.  How long did it take me to unlock this trophy?  About 30 minutes. That means that 92% of the people who played this game didn't even make it half an hour into it.  If that doesn't tell you something about how frustrating this game is, I don't know what will.

As for the aesthetics, like I mentioned earlier, have a very Saturday morning cartoon look to them. This is especially true for the still frame cut scenes.  The gameplay itself is pretty uninspired and is just basic 3D models with nothing that really stands out.  There's nothing in terms of visuals to give the game any character and the whole art design falls very flat.  This is in direct contrast to the game's soundtrack which is actually outstanding.  Stages 1-2 and 1-4, in particular, have some rocking and catchy melodies and hooks. It's nice to hear some guitar based music in a sci-fi game instead of the typical EDM music that's been so prevalent recently.  I'm glad the game came with a copy of the soundtrack because I actually want to listen to these songs again outside of the game.  In my opinion, quality of the music is the only positive I have to say about the game. 

I made it about half way through the game before rage quitting.  I got stuck at one spot and I tried over and over to get past it without success.  The problem is that I knew EXACTLY what I had to do to succeed and I just couldn't muster the coordination to do it.  I would keep looking at the wrong screen, accidentally press the wrong button, or brush against a wall causing my ship to explode.  I was frustrated with myself at first, but more and more I became frustrated with the game developers for taking an interesting mechanic and using it in the wrong way.  They should have make the game about timing incoming waves of enemies and flipping back and forth between the screens to keep a chain multiplier going or something like that.  Instead, they turned the game into a puzzle game about positioning and grabbing collectables.  You know the old saying, "easy to learn and difficult to master?"  Well, this game is difficult to learn and difficult to master.  It asks too much of the player too quickly and focuses on the aspects of the game that are frustrating and instead of the ones that are fun.  I wouldn't recommend this game to anyone and would advise you to steer far clear of it.  

Final Status: Played (... and rage quit)

Final Score: 3/10 (miserable to play)

Hidden Mysteries: Titanic (Wii) Review

 

Hidden Mysteries: Titanic (Wii) Review

Date Released: November 3, 2009

Date Played: September 20, 2021

You know those budget PC games that are tucked away in the back of the electronics section at Walmart?  This is one of those.  Actually, it's worse.  It's a PORT of one of those. You think to yourself, "who the hell buys these games?!?  There's like 50 mahjong and sudoku games and they've all been sitting here for a decade.  What even is a Hidden Mystery game?"   Well, let me illuminate you.  Firstly, this the the bottom of the barrel of the Wii shovel-ware game genre.   Like usual, I picked this one up at a yard sale for less than 25 cents.  It looked so terrible that I was just going to flip it on Ebay, but it was going for so little money that it wasn't even worth my time and I would probably LOSE money by attempting to sell it.  So, I added it to the collection.  Needless to say, I wasn't exactly enthusiastic when this one was randomly selected for me to play.  I figured I would give it a few minutes of my time and then move on to something else...  

You play as Margaret Ashley, a newly wed girl who has married above her station and become a wealthy socialite.  She and her pretentious husband have decided to set sail on the maiden voyage of the Titanic.  You're quickly thrown into the turmoil of trying to board the luxury liner all while being introduced to a colorful cast of characters.  These include friendly porters, an irritating Cockney child, your husband's valet, and even your own estranged mother who is attempting to talk some reason into you and bring you from your newly acquired "high-horse" back down into the folds of the lower class.  Once you're on the ship you're tasked with solving various puzzles, helping people sort out their problems, dealing with your irritatingly spoiled and inept husband, navigating secret passage ways, mixing cocktails, robbing Egyptian sarcophagi, and other various tasks that range from the banal to the extraordinary.  Finally, (spoiler alert!!!) you have to help everyone escape from the sinking Titanic before getting on the life boat yourself.  What a twist...  We all know how the story goes, so much like the movie, you're just sort of along for the ride and to witness what goes on in such a profound situation as this.

All of this is presented with static screens with dialog boxes. We all know how much I hate this sort of game presentation. I hate it so much, in fact, that it's slowly becoming one of my gaming sins.  Show me what is happening, don't tell me!  I guess I should be more understanding.  This game was, after all, made on a budget that could barely feed a family of four at Red Lobster.  Fortunately, most of the text is fully voice acted.  Margaret is performed pretty well as are most of the characters.  There are a few standout bad actors with their terrible accents (looking at you Cockney kid) that can get rather grating on your ear before too long.  Luckily, most of this is kept to a minimum.  The artwork, while not very impressive does look good enough for an ultra extreme budget title.  These storytelling devices are split into 20 chapters that are each bookended by a cheap looking CGI cut-scene of the Titanic sailing around on and/or sinking in the Atlantic Ocean.  This is all accompanied by a pretty decent score that fits the game well.  Do let me note that the music for the title screen of this game is, for a better lack of description, shocking.  It's fully orchestrated and sounds like something that would be playing during a gruesome murder scene in a horror movie.  To say that it's way to emotionally heavy and over the top is an understatement.  Without a doubt, it is the most sinister and foreboding piece of music I have ever heard for a title screen in a video game.  Hell, it may take the trophy for most menacing video game music of all time.   You should really check it out if you haven't heard it.  But even with the over-the-top intro music, the game is presented well enough for what it is.

As for the gameplay... well... it's ripped right out of a budget PC game just like you'd imagine.  You use the Wiimote to move a cursor around the static screens you encounter.  Hovering over an object or location will cause little gold stars to appear which signifies that you can interact with it.  You gather clues, items, and information that you use to solve puzzles as you explore room to room in adventure game style. After figuring out all of the puzzles in the area, you get to move on.  Luckily, all of the chapters are self contained so you don't have to worry about missing something or having to carry a key item with you to the next chapter in order to progress. This prevents the soft-lock that happens so often in adventure games where you don't flat out lose, you just can't continue anymore and spend tons of time wondering around while impossibly trying to progress. Just like most adventure games, the puzzles can be every esoteric and nonsensical.  Many times, I relied on trying every object on every other object until something worked (a classic mainstay and familiar technique for my adventure gaming career).  The game graciously gives you a hint icon that you can use at any time if you get stuck.  This happened quite often for me and I didn't really feel to bad about using the hint helper because the puzzles were so often eye-rollingly obtuse.  Occasionally, you'll be tasked with doing some sort of Wii motion control filler stuff like turning a crank, unwinding a spool, or flipping a switch.  This, like usual, involves the player repeatedly fumbling around with the Wiimote until it works.  Once again, these luckily don't happen very often.   In addition to these sections, you'll also be thrown into these "find 10 hidden objects in the picture" minigames.  I guess this is the hallmark of the Hidden Mysteries franchise.  Since I assume this game is a member of that illustrious and hallowed fellowship of gaming it's no wonder that a bunch of these are interjected into every single chapter of the game.  Quite often the hidden objects are so blatantly obvious that they might as well be printed on the back of a kid's menu at Denny's.  Other times, the items are so well hidden, that you're forced to just click nonstop as you slowly comb every inch of the screen with the cursor.  I don't really feel that these parts of the game really belong... but what are you going to do?  It IS a hidden mystery game after all.

So, after spending 6 weeks playing this game (I had to move to a new house when I was about 2 hours from the end) what's my final verdict?  Honestly, the game isn't that bad and a I had an enjoyable time with it.  The characters are engaging, the puzzles can be fun, the story has some interesting ideas and new takes on the cliché Titanic narrative.  It's nothing remarkable, but it's certainly a decently fun time and absolutely worth the 25 cents I paid for it. You can finish it in a couple of sittings if you have the patience for adventure games.   I was pleasantly surprised with this one and played it all the way to the end credits.  Then, I finished the secret chapter you unlock for beating the game.

Final Score: 6/10 (Better than it should be).

Final Status: Beaten (also finished secret unlockable chapter).