Date Released: November 3, 2009
Date Played: September 20, 2021
You know those budget PC games that are tucked away in the back of the electronics section at Walmart? This is one of those. Actually, it's worse. It's a PORT of one of those. You think to yourself, "who the hell buys these games?!? There's like 50 mahjong and sudoku games and they've all been sitting here for a decade. What even is a Hidden Mystery game?" Well, let me illuminate you. Firstly, this the the bottom of the barrel of the Wii shovel-ware game genre. Like usual, I picked this one up at a yard sale for less than 25 cents. It looked so terrible that I was just going to flip it on Ebay, but it was going for so little money that it wasn't even worth my time and I would probably LOSE money by attempting to sell it. So, I added it to the collection. Needless to say, I wasn't exactly enthusiastic when this one was randomly selected for me to play. I figured I would give it a few minutes of my time and then move on to something else...
You play as Margaret Ashley, a newly wed girl who has married above her station and become a wealthy socialite. She and her pretentious husband have decided to set sail on the maiden voyage of the Titanic. You're quickly thrown into the turmoil of trying to board the luxury liner all while being introduced to a colorful cast of characters. These include friendly porters, an irritating Cockney child, your husband's valet, and even your own estranged mother who is attempting to talk some reason into you and bring you from your newly acquired "high-horse" back down into the folds of the lower class. Once you're on the ship you're tasked with solving various puzzles, helping people sort out their problems, dealing with your irritatingly spoiled and inept husband, navigating secret passage ways, mixing cocktails, robbing Egyptian sarcophagi, and other various tasks that range from the banal to the extraordinary. Finally, (spoiler alert!!!) you have to help everyone escape from the sinking Titanic before getting on the life boat yourself. What a twist... We all know how the story goes, so much like the movie, you're just sort of along for the ride and to witness what goes on in such a profound situation as this.
All of this is presented with static screens with dialog boxes. We all know how much I hate this sort of game presentation. I hate it so much, in fact, that it's slowly becoming one of my gaming sins. Show me what is happening, don't tell me! I guess I should be more understanding. This game was, after all, made on a budget that could barely feed a family of four at Red Lobster. Fortunately, most of the text is fully voice acted. Margaret is performed pretty well as are most of the characters. There are a few standout bad actors with their terrible accents (looking at you Cockney kid) that can get rather grating on your ear before too long. Luckily, most of this is kept to a minimum. The artwork, while not very impressive does look good enough for an ultra extreme budget title. These storytelling devices are split into 20 chapters that are each bookended by a cheap looking CGI cut-scene of the Titanic sailing around on and/or sinking in the Atlantic Ocean. This is all accompanied by a pretty decent score that fits the game well. Do let me note that the music for the title screen of this game is, for a better lack of description, shocking. It's fully orchestrated and sounds like something that would be playing during a gruesome murder scene in a horror movie. To say that it's way to emotionally heavy and over the top is an understatement. Without a doubt, it is the most sinister and foreboding piece of music I have ever heard for a title screen in a video game. Hell, it may take the trophy for most menacing video game music of all time. You should really check it out if you haven't heard it. But even with the over-the-top intro music, the game is presented well enough for what it is.
As for the gameplay... well... it's ripped right out of a budget PC game just like you'd imagine. You use the Wiimote to move a cursor around the static screens you encounter. Hovering over an object or location will cause little gold stars to appear which signifies that you can interact with it. You gather clues, items, and information that you use to solve puzzles as you explore room to room in adventure game style. After figuring out all of the puzzles in the area, you get to move on. Luckily, all of the chapters are self contained so you don't have to worry about missing something or having to carry a key item with you to the next chapter in order to progress. This prevents the soft-lock that happens so often in adventure games where you don't flat out lose, you just can't continue anymore and spend tons of time wondering around while impossibly trying to progress. Just like most adventure games, the puzzles can be every esoteric and nonsensical. Many times, I relied on trying every object on every other object until something worked (a classic mainstay and familiar technique for my adventure gaming career). The game graciously gives you a hint icon that you can use at any time if you get stuck. This happened quite often for me and I didn't really feel to bad about using the hint helper because the puzzles were so often eye-rollingly obtuse. Occasionally, you'll be tasked with doing some sort of Wii motion control filler stuff like turning a crank, unwinding a spool, or flipping a switch. This, like usual, involves the player repeatedly fumbling around with the Wiimote until it works. Once again, these luckily don't happen very often. In addition to these sections, you'll also be thrown into these "find 10 hidden objects in the picture" minigames. I guess this is the hallmark of the Hidden Mysteries franchise. Since I assume this game is a member of that illustrious and hallowed fellowship of gaming it's no wonder that a bunch of these are interjected into every single chapter of the game. Quite often the hidden objects are so blatantly obvious that they might as well be printed on the back of a kid's menu at Denny's. Other times, the items are so well hidden, that you're forced to just click nonstop as you slowly comb every inch of the screen with the cursor. I don't really feel that these parts of the game really belong... but what are you going to do? It IS a hidden mystery game after all.
So, after spending 6 weeks playing this game (I had to move to a new house when I was about 2 hours from the end) what's my final verdict? Honestly, the game isn't that bad and a I had an enjoyable time with it. The characters are engaging, the puzzles can be fun, the story has some interesting ideas and new takes on the cliché Titanic narrative. It's nothing remarkable, but it's certainly a decently fun time and absolutely worth the 25 cents I paid for it. You can finish it in a couple of sittings if you have the patience for adventure games. I was pleasantly surprised with this one and played it all the way to the end credits. Then, I finished the secret chapter you unlock for beating the game.
Final Score: 6/10 (Better than it should be).
Final Status: Beaten (also finished secret unlockable chapter).
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